Working Parent Guilt: Overcoming the Challenges of Balancing Career and Family Life
Being a parent is tough and being a working parent brings the word tough to a whole new level! You are continually juggling home and work commitments and often feel like you are dropping the ball on many fronts. Book day, swimming lessons, wear a purple sock to school day – the list is endless and it is often hard to keep up, let alone keep up with the pressures of a career also!
As a working parent, it’s normal to experience feelings of guilt from time to time. Whether it’s missing a school play or feeling like you’re not giving your best to either your family or your job, the challenges of balancing career and family life can take a toll on your emotional well-being.
Working parent guilt is a complex issue that affects many individuals. It’s important to recognise that these feelings are valid and that it’s normal to experience them. In this blog post, we’ll explore the causes of working parent guilt and discuss strategies for overcoming this challenge.
What is Working Parent Guilt?
Working parent guilt is the feeling of anxiety, stress, or guilt that working parents experience when they have to prioritise their careers over their family. It’s the sense of being torn between two equally important responsibilities, and the fear that you’re not giving either one your all.
The root of this often comes from societal expectations and pressures. Many people still hold the belief that parents, particularly mothers, should be the primary caregivers for their children. However, as more women enter the workforce and fathers take on more caregiving responsibilities, these traditional gender roles are shifting. Despite this progress, it’s still common for working parents to feel judged and stigmatised for their choices.
Causes of Working Parent Guilt
There are several reasons why working parent guilt can occur. One of the main factors is the feeling of not spending enough time with your children. When you’re working long hours or have a demanding job, it can be difficult to find the time to be fully present with your children. This can lead to feelings of guilt and anxiety that you’re not doing enough for your family.
Another cause of working parent guilt is the pressure to excel in your career. Many working parents feel that they need to put in extra effort at work to prove their commitment and dedication. However, this can come at the expense of family time and can lead to feelings of guilt that you’re neglecting your family.
Finally, working parent guilt can also arise from external pressures and societal expectations. There is still a perception in many cultures that mothers should be the primary caregivers for their children. This can cause working mothers to feel guilty and judged for pursuing their careers instead of staying home with their children.
Strategies for Overcoming Working Parent Guilt
If you’re experiencing working parent guilt, it’s important to recognise that these feelings are normal and valid. However, there are strategies that you can use to overcome this challenge and find a better balance between your career and family life.
Set Realistic Expectations
It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself and your family. This means acknowledging that you can’t do everything and that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Instead of trying to be perfect, focus on doing your best and being present in the moment with your family. You don’t have to do everything and your children will appreciate the time you do spend with them.
Prioritise Your Time
One of the best ways to overcome working parent guilt is to prioritise your time. This means setting boundaries at work and at home and learning to say no to commitments that don’t align with your priorities. By prioritising your time, you’ll be able to focus on the things that matter most to you and your family.
Practice Self-Care
It’s important to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. This means making time for exercise, hobbies, and activities that you enjoy. By taking care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to handle the demands of work and family life.
Communicate with Your Employer
If you’re feeling overwhelmed at work, it’s important to communicate with your employer. This may mean asking for more flexible working arrangements or discussing your workload with your manager.
Organisation is key
Ask any parent, the key is organisation. Whether that means creating a weekly calendar for everyone to use, including all of the families’ activities, events, and needs; organising uniforms the evening before; creating daily or weekly alarms and reminders in your phone calendar, preparation is key. Older children can also be given some responsibility for everyday chores – whether it’s making their beds, packing lunches, or unpacking the dishwasher – everyone within the household needs to have a role and contribute.
Generally, schools will release an annual and term calendar with dress-up days, extracurricular activities, holidays, and more. Add these into your family and work calendars to ensure that both are synced and you don’t book an important meeting on the same day as the end-of-year performance, for example.
Additionally, if you are going to be late for work due to school commitments, add this to your work calendar so it’s marked on your calendar and you don’t end up double booked.
On the flip side, be realistic with your children and explain that you may not be able to attend all events. You and your partner could take turns in attending as well as drop off and pick ups depending on work schedules.
Working parent guilt is a common challenge that many individuals face. The pressures of balancing career and family life can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, and stress. However, by setting realistic expectations, prioritising your time, practising self-care and communicating with your employer, it can feel easier to find a better balance between work and family life. It’s important to remember that every week may not hold the perfect balance in your eyes, but looking at the bigger picture of events and priorities over a longer period can help with easing the pressure of balancing work and family commitments. Working parents are not alone in experiencing these feelings, and by supporting each other and challenging societal expectations, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all working parents.